Why do people complain in relationships?

Being in any kind of relationship is not easy. People often have insecurities and other issues that can cause conflicts. But you can make them work out. If you are facing lots of problems and want to fix them then start looking for the cause. If the wife yells at husband it's not always a single person’s fault. Both of them have to work together. Having complaints in a relationship is common.

Even sometimes these small fights keep the spark on otherwise the relationship may become boring. But if the problem is too much then you need to work on it. If there is any kind of physical or mental abuse, leaving the person is the best option. Any kind of abuse in a relationship is very toxic. But if you were in a healthy relationship and now facing problems then you can work on it.

Why do people complain?

A person can be constantly complaining due to any reason like attention, validation, connection, empowerment, resolution, etc. In childhood, getting complaints is common. Kids often get complaints from school about homework or being naughty. You can talk to them with love or try other ways to fix the problem. In some cultures, complaining is a way to show affection. You only complain to someone whom you care about or love. Other than this, the reason behind complaining can be resentment. People can complain due to old resentment. Lots of complaints in a relationship are not good. 

Too many complaints affect the relationship. If you are in a romantic relationship then having too many complaints can lead to a breakup or divorce. This that often causes issues in a relationship is criticism, negligence, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. Whereas, complaints in a parent-child relationship are different. When a parent complains, sometimes the kid can’t understand the exact cause behind it. Due to this, your kid might show symptoms like guilt, fear, shame, avoiding everyone, etc. 

Best ways to stop complaining in a relationship

Be productive

If you are the one who is always complaining, you need to work on it. Sometimes the problem is with you, having too many complaints is not good. Instead of being productive, you are just stressing and complaining around. Try to find some good solutions to manage the problem. Sometimes you might be needlessly complaining. You should stop yourself and try out things that can fix the problem.

Ask someone for good advice

You might be complaining due to some small problems in the relationship. Most people complain when they feel frustrated. Showing anger instead of finding a solution will not work. You should get some good advice. Talk to a good person and share your problems. Tell him why you are feeling frustrated. A good piece of advice can help you to change your mind about the problem. 

Be communicative

If you are always yelling and another person is not saying anything, you are the problem. Stop complaining and try to communicate more. It will not only fix the problems but also make your relationship strong. Good communication is necessary to keep your bond strong. When you talk to each other, you can find ways to resolve the problem you are seeking. Once the problem is resolved, you will stop complaining. You have to create a good understanding for keeping your relationship strong. You might be surprised but good listening can even change your point of view and feelings.

Learn to forgive and apologize

Having complaints is not always your fault. But sometimes you need to become a bigger person and forgive your partner. Some mistakes like being late or forgetting sometimes should be forgiven. Meanwhile, sometimes, you might be overreacting to any small situation. Instead of complaining and forgetting about it; try to apologize. Being rude can affect your relationship negatively. A small sorry can help to manage your relationship. 

Talk about the problem

Sometimes you may be complaining about the same thing every day. Instead of yelling, talk to your partner. Tell him/her that you don’t like this thing and want to make some changes. Try to make him/her understand your point of view. You both can have some changes and adjustments to fix the problem. 

Try to cool down yourself

When you are upset about anything and see anything bothering you, walk off. People often complain or yell when they are upset about something and just want to take it out on someone. But your anger can hurt someone else. So, instead of yelling, take a moment and calm yourself. Just take a deep breath or drink a cup of coffee. Try to communicate with your partner about the problem. He might come up with something that can lighten up your mood.

Try meditation

If you often get angry and complain a lot then try meditation. A 20-minute session of daily meditation can help a lot. It will balance your brain chemistry and provide inner peace. You will feel calm and able to think about the situation correctly. Instead of complaining, you will be able to find ways to fix the problem.

Seek a professional help

You should talk to a counselor to manage the problem. Talking to a marriage counselor can be very helpful. Visit the counselor with your partner. Share your problems and the counselor will suggest ways for you and your partner to manage them. Counseling can be very helpful to eliminate issues and improve bonding.